Self-presentation is the way that we let others perceive us. The social psychology text argues that there are various methods of achieving an acceptable self-presentation. One of the ways is through self-verification, which is a method of self-presentation where we want other to perceive us by what we truly think about ourselves (Swann, 1987). Bill Swann et al. (1992) studied couples to illustrate this concept. In the study he had each member of the couple fill out a questionnaire separately about themselves and their partners. The questionnaire measured self-concept and appraisal of their spouse’s self-concept. The results support self-verification theory; partners with high self-concept were more likely to be committed to their spouses if they favored them positively. Likewise, partners with low self-concept are more likely to be committed to their spouses if the spouses rated them negatively.
A pop culture example that supports this concept is the show Maury. I never fully understood the women in the show. Why are they so attracted to these dumb guys?! After learning about the self-verification motive, it makes more sense. These girls are attracted to these guys because they treat them how they feel about themselves. This concept also helped me realize why my friends date those guys that are just not good enough. However, they may think they are good enough because they show their true colors about my friends.
References:
Swann, W.B., Hixon, J,G., and De la Ronde, C. (1992). Embracing the bitter “truth”: Negative self-concepts and marital commitments. Psychological Science, 3, 118-121.
Swann, W.B. (1987). Identity Negotiation: Where two roads meet. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53, 1038-1051.
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I love Maury. Haha. I always wonder why girls are with those loser guys as well, but now that you point it out, it makes a lot of sense with self-verification. But it is kind of weird that women would want to be with loser guys like that when it takes a lot of courage to go onto a talk show that airs on national television and call a guy out like that. That takes some serious confidence.
ReplyDeleteI didn't used to understand why women stick with loser guys, either, and I also have a particular friend from elementary/junior high who sticks with a guy who treats her worse than I feel she deserves, and it's always driven me crazy. It goes against what I've always assumed -- that people will be happy with people who treat them well -- but if that were always the case, there wouldn't be so many cases of women who end up in those relationships, as it's not every case where the guy is actively forcing her to be with him.
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